Neo's Strength (Devil's Riot MC: Originals Book 8) Read online

  Away from him and everyone else.

  After that day, I never went back to the clubhouse, or told anyone what happened in the bathroom. Not even when Shadow asked me about it.

  Needing to get away from everything and everyone, I ended up changing my phone number and moving across town into a neighborhood I thought was safe. The area was quiet, my neighbors stayed to themselves, and I didn’t have to worry about them speaking to me other than the typical ‘hello’. I even quit my job at the school. I used to love working with first graders, but I couldn’t be the teacher they needed. So, I’d left without notice and started working from home as a freelance editor. I worked with several authors each month. It wasn’t easy to get into but I’m doing it for the time being.

  Everything was okay. I didn’t mind the solitude. I enjoy it really. At least a majority of the time when I was awake and could keep the dreams at bay.

  I’d had to start taking sleeping pills again due to the horrible event at the clubhouse that just brought everything back to light. I try not to take them, but I can’t sleep without them.

  Here recently it’s all become so much. I couldn’t stand to look at myself before and it’s to the point I can’t stand the feel of my own hands against my skin. I throw up every day when I shower, as well as, turn my skin so red it looks like a tomato from scrubbing it so harshly.

  The demons who have emerge within my head keep telling me what I need to do, how I should just let it all end. At first, I fought them off, by giving myself what I thought I needed to get through it. I broke my razor and started something I never thought I would do. Cutting into my skin leaving fine lines of blood seeping from my body. With each cut it went to my head making me feel I was in control of something for the first time in a very long time.

  I wake up in the morning and it’s the first thing I do. When I finish the day, I end it in the same way.

  Here recently it’s getting harder to get what I need from the simple little blade of a razor. I needed something different. I’d read about choking in one of my author’s books where the woman got off on being choked while the guy was screwing her.

  I decided to try it, but by myself rather than during sex with someone because that was never going to happen.

  Bringing my hands up to my neck, I wrap my fingers in the precise way the author wrote about and applied pressure. My breathing becomes harder to gather and my head grows light. I loosen my hands and immediately regret it as the high leaves me.

  It’s not going to give me what I need in the same way the cutting does. Tears fill my gaze as I make a swift decision. I grab my grandpa’s old army knife. The blade on it was sharp and I could dig a little deeper with the tip. Stripping out of my yoga pants, I go into my bathroom and sit on the floor with a hand towel under my legs.

  With my focus on the task at hand, I pierce the skin loving the burn that the cut makes. Lifting my head, I close my eyes feeling the blood trickle down my thigh.

  Bliss.

  Truly this is what I need in order to feel my life is in my control.

  Chapter Two

  Neo

  This year has been one of the worst fuckin’ years since I was fifteen and I lost my mother when she committed suicide. To this day I still don’t understand what possessed her to kill herself knowing she had a son to look after. Then of course there was my uncle Rylan who didn’t want anything to do with me after he’d been shot. He was lucky, even if he’s in a wheelchair, he’s only lost the motion of his legs everything else on him works perfectly.

  After that day in the hospital, he’d come to the clubhouse one day about four months later and apologized for the way he treated me. He understood I didn’t want to live with him, not after finally feeling a connection to someone again. A year later he’d married a nice lady who ended up being his nurse at the time and is the one who told him to get his head out of his ass.

  I ended up staying with Bear and Momma B until I turned eighteen. I knew right away I wanted to prospect for the club, but I also wanted to go into the Marines.

  I did one tour and got out. It was enough for me. I ended up seeing men, who I thought of as brothers, killed in front of me. If it wasn’t for Martin, a guy I’d become close with, I’d have died alongside all of my brothers that fateful day where more than one of my brothers were killed in an ambush. Martin fell on top of me when he’d been shot, and I can remember to this day, seven years later, the words that left his mouth. “Don’t let them take you out with us.”

  I’d been fucked in the head for a long while after getting out. Even so when I finished my tour and came home, I immediately started prospecting alongside my brother Cane. The two of us even patched in at the same time together.

  Everything seemed to be going great until about a year ago when things happened with Raven and Blaze. Their son, Mark, was kidnapped and while most of us went after those responsible, they’d been sending some of their ranks after those they really wanted. In the process of getting the women to safety, Momma B was killed. I was devastated right along with the rest of the club.

  Rage, her son and a member of the club, who live at another charter, became undone. It took Cleo, his ol’ lady, to calm him down. At the funeral he’d told me to sit with them and Bear at the front of the church as I was family as well. I didn’t expect it, but I was damn proud to be considered a part of their family.

  Once Momma B was laid to rest, Bear took off needing the time to himself. I hadn’t talked to him much, neither had Rage. Though he did check in once a week through text letting both of us know where he was each time. This last time he was down in Texas staying at the Satan’s Keepers MC for a couple days while he fixed his bike. I’d asked what was wrong with it, but he didn’t go into detail other than to say nothing important. He just had to wait on the part to get in.

  Then on top of all of that we had the stuff go down with Ranger and Harlow.

  “I don’t care, Shadow. I’m worried about her okay. She changed her number and moved without telling me. I want to see Harley.” My thoughts are interrupted by Luna’s voice as she fusses with her ol’ man, Shadow, our enforcer.

  “Babygirl, I’ve already asked Nerd to find her, got her new number and address after she moved across town. I’m not going to fuck with her. Not this time. She’s fine that’s all you need to worry about. The woman knows if she needs anything, we’re here for her,” Shadow grumbles in annoyance. The man does a lot for his ol’ lady. Loves her to death. Didn’t matter to him what her past entailed. Luna is everything to him same goes for their son, Darren.

  “But I miss her,” she whines giving Shadow a pout. One we’ve all seen her use on him to get her way.

  “I know, babe,” he sighs pulling her into his chest. “However, you need to understand she’s in a dark place right now and doesn’t want to be around anyone. Especially those who remind her of what happened.” I feel for my brother as he has to bring up what happened to her and her friend Harley.

  Talk about one fucked up situation. Harley had been raped by two women while Luna was tied to a chair with a bomb wrapped around her neck. She’d endured watching her stepmother and the woman who was supposed to be their friend, as they took advantage of Harley.

  Shit.

  It gutted me seeing the woman that way. I’d been the one to carry her out of that nightmare. Ever since then she’s avoided me at all costs along with everyone else. She used to come to the clubhouse for cookouts when Luna had Shadow do her dirty work and force Harley to come out.

  The last time she was here, she’d run into me without looking and when she’d looked up, I saw nothing but fear in her eyes. I’d demanded she tell me what scared her but she’d refused and demanded to be taken home. Shadow and Stoney went to see her the next day, but she still refused to say anything about what happened.

  “I don’t want her to go through what I did,” Luna murmurs, tears spilling over her cheeks.

  “Fuck, Luna, don’t cry.” I feel sorry for my b
rothers when it comes to their women, sometimes due to them and their emotions. It makes me glad I don’t have a woman who ends up crying all the damn time.

  Love all the ol’ ladies, they’re cool as shit but swear to fuck you get them in one room all together it’s an emotional cry fest sometimes. The day Ranger dealt with Harlow in the gym I think is probably the worst experience I’ve experienced, and it wasn’t even me taking care of Harlow as she screamed and sobbed, releasing all her pent-up emotions.

  “I can’t help it. You of all people know I’m a freakin’ crier when my hormones are all over the place because you had to get me pregnant again.” Shit and here I thought we’d get a break in there somewhere from pregnant chicks. We’d had Victoria and Rachel pregnant together and Harlow is almost ready to pop now.

  Fuck.

  “What if I just get one of the prospects to check on her, will that work for you? I’m not going to invade her life. If she wants us to be a part of her life again then she’ll call. Harley has your number along with mine and Stoney’s,” Shadow says in a gentle yet firm tone leaving no room for argument.

  “Fine,” Luna huffs, pressing her head against her man’s chest.

  With a shake of my head, I furrow my brows as I pull out my phone. Glancing at the screen I notice it’s my uncle calling.

  “Yeah,” I say as I answer.

  “Hey, Nate,” he mumbles as if trying to be quiet.

  “What’s up, Rylan?”

  “Hate to ask this but can you come over this way? Tracy is working and with the rain, I’ll get soaked.” My brows narrow even more at the sound of my uncle’s voice. I know he hates having to ask shit like this.

  “Yeah, I’ll come over but what do you need my help with, that would mean being in the rain?” I need to know if I have to bring help with me just in case.

  “Ugh, pretty much I need you to do a B&E on my neighbor’s house,” he states.

  What the fuck?

  “Explain,” I order. I’m not about to go out and commit a crime without knowing the reason. He is out of his fuckin’ mind if he thinks otherwise.

  “Kid who lives there, she’s not been out of the house to go anywhere or do anything. Tracy’s worried about her since for the past two nights there’s been no lights to come on. We just want to make sure no one has broken in and hurt her. She’s a loner and doesn’t speak to anyone,” he says.

  Something in the way he says it causes me to look over toward Shadow.

  “I’ll be there in a bit,” I inform him and disconnect without waiting for his response. “Shadow, you feel like going on an errand with me? We shouldn’t be too long.”

  “What’s up?” he asks, lifting a brow in question.

  “Gotta go check on someone who lives next to my uncle,” I mutter, unsure if this is a good idea or not. Either way I’m heading to go check on this woman for my aunt and uncle. The woman is probably just out of town and didn’t let anyone know.

  Chapter Three

  Neo

  “You know whose house this is?” Shadow demands harshly while looking at the house.

  “Nope, all I know is it’s my uncle’s neighbor’s,” I shrug, pulling into the driveway of my uncle’s neighbor. Since he and my aunt live on the corner this is the only next-door neighbor he has.

  “Yeah, well I do,” he grumbles. “Fuckin’ hell. I hope I’m not going to be telling Luna anything to upset her, this is Harley’s place.”

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  I don’t bother answering him. Instead, I jump out of the driver’s seat slamming the door closed and storm up to the front porch as lightning flashes through the sky.

  What a way to deal with today.

  Banging on the door, I wait a moment. She doesn’t come to the door. “I’m kicking the fuckin’ door in,” I mutter more to myself than to my brother.

  “Just do it,” he says, sounding just as pissed we’re doing this.

  Lifting my foot, I slam it down on the doorknob, splintering it from the doorframe.

  “Harley,” I call out her name as I enter the house. No sounds come from inside. “Let’s split up, I’ll check the bedrooms if you check the rest of the house.”

  Considering all the houses in this neighborhood were nearly all the same design, I knew where her room would most likely be and that’s where I was gonna check first.

  Shadow nods and starts in the direction of the kitchen as I go toward the stairs. Taking them two at a time I get to the top floor and walk to the master bedroom door. I don’t bother knocking on the door as I slide the partially opened door completely open. Still no signs of her but the light coming from under the bathroom door catches my attention.

  Furrowing my brows, I pull my gun out from my waistband and hold it ready just in case. Putting my hand on the doorknob, I slowly twisted the knob and open the bathroom door.

  My eyes widen at the sight in front of me.

  Fuckin’ hell.

  What the fuck has the woman done?”

  Quickly, I shove my gun back into the waistband of my jeans and drop to my knees next to a slumped over Harley who had blood caked to her. Lifting a hand to her neck I check for a pulse. I find one but it’s weak.

  “Shadow,” I call out for my brother as I go to lift Harley into my arms not giving a damn about her being in nothing but a tank top and boy shorts. “Get the truck ready.”

  Standing with her in my arms I rush out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and out the front door to find Shadow standing there waiting for me. At the sight of Harley in my arms he grimaces.

  “What the fuck has she done to herself?” he mutters with a shake of his head.

  “I don’t know but we gotta get her to the hospital,” I say, hopping into the passenger seat holding Harley against me.

  I lost one person in my life to suicide I’m not about to lose another. Doesn’t matter to me if I barely know Harley. I can sense the connection between us. I felt it that night at the dance club when she was first introduced to us, but I didn’t approach her at the time. Maybe if I had none of this would be happening right now.

  Closing my eyes, I do something I haven’t done in a very long time.

  Pray.

  Pray that she makes it and I don’t have another woman’s life on my conscience.

  After getting to the hospital, everything seemed to pass in a blur of motion. Nurses took Harley from my arms and rushed her to the back. I’d told them I was her fiancé in order to get any kind of news about her. I didn’t know who her parents were, but I knew they weren’t around here. I remember from the last time I’d brought her into the hospital she didn’t have anyone on her next of kin list.

  Sitting in a hard back plastic chair with my arms resting on my knees, my eyes stay glued to the doors leading to the back. We’ve been here for hours without any news yet.

  I’m tempted to call my aunt and have her find out for me what’s going on with Harley. She’s a nurse here at this very same hospital.

  “What the fuck happened?” I lift my gaze to my Prez’s to find his hardened one on Shadow and myself. I hadn’t noticed him come into the ER. I’ve had other things on my mind and I know he doesn’t like leaving his ol’ lady behind unless he absolutely has to. He’s gotten better about it over the months, but no one is as protective over their woman in the same manner as Stoney. Right before Momma B was killed Rachel and Stoney dealt with somethings that nearly cost her her life.

  “Prez, don’t know, we’re waiting to find out what the doctor has to say. All I know is my uncle called asking if I’d come help him do a little B&E. He wanted to check on his neighbor. Soon as we pulled up, Shadow informed me it was Harley’s new place. Knocked on the door, when she didn’t answer, I kicked the door in. The two of us split up, I went upstairs and found her in the master bathroom slumped to the side unconscious with blood coating her thighs,” I report.

  Swear I’ll never get the image out of my head.

  “Shit,” Stoney mutters, blowing out a breath
as he sits in a seat next to me. “You tell Luna yet?” he asks, glancing in Shadow’s direction.

  “Nope,” Shadow responds with a pop of the P. “I’m not about to have her up here getting upset when I don’t know what the fuck happened myself.”

  “She tried to kill herself,” I grumble, my hands clench into fists as I say the words aloud.

  “You don’t know that, brother,” Shadow says, shaking his head.

  “Seen my mom do nearly the same thing, only she hung herself from the ceiling fan and I walked into my house after school, when I was fifteen to find her in the living room, her body dangling in midair.” The words taste fuckin’ bitter as the come out of my mouth. It’s the first time I’d acknowledge them aloud to anyone besides Bear and Momma B. Neither of them are around anymore for me to confided in, so I might as well say it to the two men here.

  “Fuck,” Stoney murmurs inaudible. He knew about my parents and my uncle, shit he knows a lot about me yet he didn’t know the exact details about my mom.

  Before anyone can say anything else, my attention is draw to the doors opening to the back, “Family of Harley Michaels.”

  Chapter Four

  Harley

  You know those times when you wake up with a bad hangover and simply just want to roll over and pull the blankets over your head? This is definitely one of those times. My head is throbbing, and my body feels weaker.

  Groaning, I crack my eyes open and immediately realize I’m not in my room at home. Then I remember, for the past complete of days I’d spent my time in the bathroom sitting on the floor rotating between suffocating myself and slicing my thighs. I’d finally drifted off to sleep as my legs bled. My last thoughts had been about me hoping it would all be done and over with.

  How the hell did I get here? How long have I been here?