A Demon's Sorrow Read online

  A Demon’s Sorrow

  Dark Lullabies Prequel

  E.C. Land

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Epilogue

  For those who have a loved one who is fighting the fight against cancer or have lost a loved one to the hardest battle a person can go through.

  Playlist

  Someday – Godsmack

  One Rainy Day – Godsmack

  If Today Was Your Last Day – Nickelback

  Until Then – Sully Erna

  If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away – Justin Moore

  One More Day – Diamond Rio

  Fear the Unknown

  Looking beyond

  What comes for us

  Can we survive

  Or will it take us

  Fear of the Unknown

  Cause us to fear more than we know

  Can we survive

  Or will it take us

  Look beyond

  See what’s coming

  Or will it consume us

  Fear the Unknown

  Take a breath we can survive

  Open your eyes

  And see beyond

  The truth is there

  We can survive

  No need to fear

  ~E.C. Land

  Prologue

  Chaz

  16 years old

  “Dude, take a look at the new chick walking into class,” Tanner mumbles under his breath from behind me. Glancing up from the song I’d been working on, I tilt my head towards the door. At first glance my heart stopped. Standing in the doorway is the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.

  “Everyone, I’d like you to meet Jamie,” Miss Lawrence announces.

  “I wouldn’t mind being the one to give her a tour around the school, maybe show her the locker room,” Hunter chuckles.

  “Shut up, asshole,” I grumble and go back to what I’m doing. That is until a shadow moves over me.

  “Hi, umm, do you mind if I sit next to you?” the sweetest voice I’d ever heard asks.

  “Sure,” I answer without looking.

  “Thanks,” she says and damnit the sound of her voice does something to me. Something I’m not sure how to explain. Well, I guess the best way to describe it would be musical. Which brings me to wonder if she sang.

  You see Tanner, Hunter, Lex and I formed a band called Demons Among Us back in middle school. Yeah, might sound somewhat stupid but the name stuck. The name has meaning behind it. The four of us don’t have your usual life. Each of us has our own demons hovering over us.

  Shaking my head to clear it, I don’t need to go there right now. I’ve escaped that part of my life and I won’t go back.

  “So, are you always this broody?” Jamie asks, her voice the sound of music to my ears.

  Lifting my head, I glance in her direction. “Don’t know what you’re talking about,” I mutter before going back to trying to finish what I was doing. This song isn’t gonna write itself. Normally we all work on the songs together. But I’d woken up this morning and couldn’t get the lyrics out of my head.

  “See broody,” giggling she opens up her notebook and begins to listen to Miss Lawrence’s lesson of the day. I’m sure I should be doing the same but it’s whatever. It’s not like when it comes down to the test, I won’t pass it. I’m just smart like that I guess you can say.

  Soon as class is over, I close my notebook and stand ready to get to the next class.

  “So, Mr. Broody, can you show me to my next class?” Whipping my head around to Jamie as she asks her question.

  Tanner and Hunter burst into a fit of laughter at her calling me Mr. Broody. Fuck I’m not gonna live that down.

  Glaring at her I take in just how small she is compared to me. At sixteen I’m not some lanky teen and this beautiful girl standing in front of me is the size of a pixie. At her smile I sigh.

  Finally, I ask “What class do you have?”

  “Umm I’m not sure,” she says, pulling out a piece of paper from her notebook. “Here this is my schedule.”

  Taking the paper she’s holding out, my fingers graze hers and holy shit it felt like an electric shock running through me.

  Who the hell is this little pixie?

  Glancing down at the paper I see that we have all the same classes. Well fuck. Guess we better get going.

  “Come on, Pixie, seems we have the same classes,” I grumble.

  “Oh, that’s so cool maybe I can sit by you in all of them. Wouldn’t that be great?” Rolling my eyes at her I don’t respond. I have a feeling this little pixie of a girl will become my undoing. The one who will see through the exterior and bring me harmony.

  Chapter One

  Jamie

  18 years old

  “Chaz you better put me down before I puke on you,” I squeal beating on my boyfriend’s back as he carries me over his shoulder.

  “Nope not happening Pixie. You know better than to stand there looking sexy as fuck while we’re practicing. We got a gig to get ready for and I can’t do that when all I’m thinking about is sinking inside you,” Chaz grumbles as he swats my ass.

  “Well, then, Mr. Broody, you shouldn’t be looking all sexy as sin without your shirt on while practicing. You know how the guys' groupies gawk at you all,” I huff while trying to maneuver off his shoulder.

  “Let them gawk, Pixie, I don’t give a damn. I only have eyes for one girl and I’m holding her in my arms right now,” Chaz says as we make it to his room.

  “Aww, aren’t you the sweetest. Should I get you a cookie?” I giggle.

  “I’m not sweet,” he grunts as he throws me onto the bed.

  “To me you are,” I whisper, leaning up on my arms.

  “Only for you, baby,” he murmurs as he climbs over me to take my mouth in a slow, passionate kiss.

  Who knew that two years ago when my sister and I moved here with our grandma, I’d meet the love of my life on the first day at my new school? It’s one of my favorite memories honestly. And since then he’s always been my Mr. Broody and I, his Pixie.

  I asked him one day why he called me Pixie and his response was ‘Look at you compared to me. I could fit you in the palm of my hand.’

  In the last two years, we have been inseparable. No secrets between us. Well, that’s not completely true— see, I have one, a major one. One that only my sister Alexis and grandma know about. When I was thirteen, I was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. I’ve been in remission ever since the transplant thanks to my daddy. He and I had been a match, thankfully.

  The day he and my mother were killed in a car crash, I vowed to live every day to its fullest. See daddy was the only one who was a match for me. And finding a match can be very hard. If I were to relapse, there’s a chance I wouldn’t be able to find a donor in time.

  “You coming to the gig tonight?” Chaz asks as he pulls back from the kiss.

  Inwardly shaking my head, I give him my smile. If I were to die this is what I’ll always want to remember, being with him. “Have I ever missed one?” I ask in return.

  “Nope,” grinning, he leans back into me, giving me yet another passion-filled kiss. One where our clothes disappear.

  Chaz keeps his mouth against mine as he sinks deep inside me. Yet it doesn’t stop my moans from filling the room. I love the way he glides in and out of my body. Always hitting the right spot whether it’s slow and loving like now or fast and hard. Both are magical, because of him.

  As our breathing becomes labored, Chaz lifts his head. “I love you, my Pixie,” he whispers.

  “I lov
e you too, Chaz. Always,” I murmur back lifting my head up enough to reclaim his mouth. I’ll always love him no matter what.

  Running my hands along Chaz’s back, my moans grow louder as he picks up the pace. Reaching between us, he finds my clit, flicking it, he sends me over the edge. With his mouth still latched to mine, I can’t scream out like I want. Chaz does that, though. He doesn’t like his friends to hear my screams. They’re for his ears only.

  When I start to come down from my orgasm, Chaz begins to build me back up. Abruptly, he stops the kiss but is back soon as he lifts my legs onto his shoulders. In this position, I can feel him deep as he thrusts inside. Not even a minute later, Chaz has me clenching his dick as he brings me to yet another orgasm— one that seems to never end.

  Thrust after thrust, I feel him plowing into me. His movements begin to become sporadic the way they do when he’s about to come. Then all of a sudden, he stops completely and the sensation of him coming inside me sends me into one more orgasm.

  God knows this man was made for me as I was made for him.

  “Damn that was mind-blowing, Pixie,” Chaz groans as he continues to slide in and out of me slowly.

  “You’re not so bad yourself, Mr. Broody,” giggling I grind my hips into him, earning yet another breathless kiss. That’s what he does to me, takes my breath away.

  “Gotta go get ready now,” he states, his breathing labored when he pulls away from me.

  “I know,” sighing I lift up on my elbows to watch him get dressed. He doesn’t bother showering before the gig. He never does when we have sex before hand. That would be due to the fact we go until almost the last minute.

  Pounding on the door causes me to give a small scream and frantically cover my body with Chaz’s comforter.

  “Yo, Chaz, we gotta get going if we’re gonna make it to the Wharf,” Hunter calls out from the other side of the door.

  “Be there in a minute,” Chaz grumbles.

  “Well hurry the fuck up. We all know you can’t keep your hands to yourself but damn this is cutting it close, dude,” Liam yells out this time.

  “What the hell? Are they all at the door?” I groan, drawing the comforter higher over my body.

  “Yep,” they all call out from the other side of the door.

  “Get the fuck away from my door, assholes. I’ll be out in a minute,” Chaz growls.

  Moving to stand up, I feel something sticky on the inside of my legs and realize we didn’t use a condom. Damnit, we usually always use one but there’s been a few times we didn’t.

  “Gotta go, see you later,” Chaz murmurs as he leans in for a kiss.

  “Okay, love you always, Mr. Broody,” I say.

  “Love you too, Pixie.” Grinning, he stands and heads for the door.

  Flopping down on his pillow, I stare up at the ceiling. Contemplating the fact we didn’t use a condom. Every other time, I didn’t have to worry about it. This time though, I do. See, I had my yearly checkup two days ago and found out just this morning my cancer is back. And if I don’t find a donor, I won’t make it.

  Chapter Two

  Jamie

  “Well Jamie you did it this time,” I muttered to myself as I stare down at the little plastic stick in my hand. The big plus sign glaring at me.

  My emotions have been completely haywire. Though I’ve been able to hide them from everyone. I’ve yet to tell Alexis or Grandma about my cancer being back. Now I have even more news to share. I don’t know how they will react. Shoot, I’m not even sure what Chaz will think of me being pregnant and he doesn’t even know about my past.

  I know that Chaz wanted children, but I don’t think he wanted a child at eighteen.

  Putting the stick down I glance at myself in the mirror. Since finding out I’d relapsed eight weeks ago I’ve for the most part felt fine. Honestly, I started to think the test was wrong. I have an appointment later today, maybe I’ll ask them to retest me.

  Placing my hand against my stomach I smile. I’m having a baby. As much as I fear the thought of not being here, I will at least be leaving a piece of me behind. That is if I can make it through a pregnancy. More and more questions to ask the doctors.

  A knock on the door startles me. “Babe you in there?” Chaz asks.

  “Yeah just a sec,” I call out quickly tossing the pregnancy test into the trash hiding it under tissues.

  Opening the door, I find him still standing there. His brow furrowed. “You okay Pixie?”

  “I’m fine Mr. Broody. I was just doing girly stuff,” I say slightly embarrassed.

  “Okay, I gotta get ready for work,” he informs me all the while eye-fucking me. The man is insatiable. And I love it.

  I know I should tell him about the pregnancy test but I’m going to hold off until after I talk to the doctor. Doctor Meyers will be able to advise me on what to do and expect. Shoot maybe he will have found a donor already. Miracles could happen, right?

  Inwardly shaking my head, I give Chaz a kiss before heading back into his room to get dressed for the day. Granted we don’t live together, some of my clothes are in a draw and his closet. Snagging his hoodie, I put it on wanting to feel him close to me today.

  “You sure you’re okay Pixie?” Chaz asks as he comes back into the room.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment in a little bit.” I let slip without meaning to.

  “You didn’t tell me about an appointment. You okay?” he asks as he wraps his arms around me. God, I love the smell of his cologne.

  “It’s just a checkup, I’m okay. I’ll probably be getting my prescription for birth control updated,” I say nonchalantly hating myself for lying. I want to scream.

  “Okay baby, you gonna come by the shop after?”

  “Yep,” I say leaning up to kiss him. I always go help him and the rest of the guys out at the shop. They opened a music shop where they not only teach kids how to play, they repair damaged instruments. Shoot they’re also in the process of renovating the back to make a recording studio.

  I’ve never known men who were so inspired by music as these guys. Chaz always seems to have a song playing in his head. Whether it’s from one of his favorite bands or one he’s working on. He’s so talented and could go all the way if he wanted to. However, he and the guys prefer to play locally. To them it’s more personal than them hitting the big time with a record label.

  Glancing at the clock on his dresser I notice I’ve got to get going or I’ll be late alongside him. Giving him a kiss, I start to leave only to be stopped by the hand on my wrist.

  “Love you Pixie,” Chaz says softly as he draws me back into him.

  “I love you too Mr. Broody. Always,” I whisper leaning in to give him another kiss. Neither of us seems to ever be able to let the other go. And I don’t know if I’ll be ready to let him go when it’s my time.

  Sitting in the exam room waiting on my doctor to come in I become anxious by the minute. I have all these questions swarming around in my head. Questions I need answers to.

  A knock on the door causes me to jump as Doctor Meyers comes in. “Sorry to keep you waiting. I wanted to consult with another Oncologist.”

  “It’s okay, were you able to find out something to help me?” I ask nervously.

  “I’m sorry Jamie but as it stands right now without a match there’s nothing we can do,” he says softly.

  “How long do you think I have?” I was barely able to get out with the tears forming.

  “A year maybe, but from what you told the nurse when you first came in, I'm not sure. With you being pregnant it could be more strenuous on your body. However, if you were able to go to term with this baby, there’s a possibility your child would be a match,” Doctor Meyers informs me.

  “So, there’s a possible chance I could live longer,” I clarify.

  “A small chance yes, but that’s only if the baby were a match to you,” he nods his head in agreement.

  “Then what do I do next? I don’t wa
nt to do anything to hurt my baby.” I rest my hands on my stomach protectively.

  “Right now, we monitor you every week. I’d suggest making an appointment with Doctor Taylors, she’s an OBGYN specialist who will be able to help with your pregnancy. She and I have worked together in the past,” Doctor Meyers' voice is soothing as he continues to inform me on what to expect and what could happen.

  The more he speaks the more I fear telling anyone about this part. I can hide this but a pregnancy I won’t be able to.

  “Have you told your grandmother or sister yet?” Doctor Meyers asks, drawing me from my thoughts.

  “No, I didn’t want to worry them yet. I’ll tell them soon,” I say knowing I won’t be able to tell them. I can’t, not yet at least. I want to be happy about Chaz and I having a baby.

  “Well I suggest you do so soon. You’ll need them and this baby’s father’s support to get through this. We don’t know what will happen. In fact, why don’t I get the nurses to call over to Doctor Taylors’ office to see if we can’t get you in there.”

  “That would be great I’m sure she could give me some more information. I’ll be sure to let everyone know what’s going on soon. I promise,” I tell him.

  Nodding his head, he gives my leg a pat before helping me off the table and leading me to the nurses’ station where he asks them to call over to Doctor Taylors’ office.

  I don’t know what I’ll find out, but I pray Doctor Taylors and Doctor Meyers will be able to save my baby and me. If this baby and I are a match, then he or she will be my miracle baby. The mercy I’ve been waiting for.

  Chapter Three